In Support of the Establishment of National Wear-Your-Wedding-Dress Day

The declaration of a National Wear-Your-Wedding-Dress Day (annual date to vary by geographic region, with a view to maximizing odds of fine weather locally) would provide the residents of participating communities with a range of benefits, including:

• Opportunities for women (and men, where applicable) to be recognized for their beauty and good taste at least once a year by friends and families (not to mention fellow workers and grocery-store attendants) as they moved resplendent from the morning to the night in the gowns, gloves, tiaras, veils and even shoes they had chosen with such care for days on which they were married;

• Enhanced justification for the investment of millions of dollars in elaborate dresses and accoutrements that are traditionally worn for one day only, after which they are consigned to the darkest reaches of the nation’s basement closets or the remotest corners of its attics;

• Motivational artillery for the newly married to keep their sylph-like figures so that they are able to fit themselves anew into their matrimonial finery every year.

Those with two or more wedding gowns would wear whichever dress they preferred unless, of course, the most recent marriage had taken root, in which case they would be well advised to choose politics over sartorial preference.

On OverSharing

There is a tendency in this era of social media to tell the world your whole life history and your deepest secrets.

Resist that temptation. Save your dark fears, your weaknesses, your regrets, your childhood abuse, your fights with your current partners for friends you know in person and your therapist.

Better yet, transform them into art.

Just Doin' My Job

Why has it reached the point where I feel like falling all over people with gratitude when they just do the work they are supposed to do (and that I am directly or indirectly paying them to do)?

Spewing Coffee

New acronym needed for Twitter and other social-networking sites: SCAOMK (spewing coffee all over my keyboard). In terms of intensity, falls half way between LOL and ROTFLMAO.

Update: This acronym (SCAOMK) was accepted for inclusion in Urban Dictionary in Dec. '08.

Parenthood

Anyone who thinks only kids are permanently traumatized by their childhoods hasn't been a parent.

Seeking Advice

When it comes to asking for advice, who you choose to ask is as important as how you phrase the question.

Elitism

Some of us need to be elitist or there would be no elite.

Whatever happened to Inside Voices?

After spending too many hours in an airport: Why do so many young moms think I want to listen to their brilliant conversations with their brilliant little kids?

Damnation

On seeing The Metropolitan Opera's simulcast of The Damnation of Faust: Damnation is a journey, not a destination.

Labels

Clothes would be far more comfortable if the care labels were on the outside.

Anticipation

The only time I really don't like running is right before I start to run.

The only time I really don't like working is right before I start to work.