Friday, December 26, 2008

In Support of the Establishment of National Wear-Your-Wedding-Dress Day

The declaration of a National Wear-Your-Wedding-Dress Day (annual date to vary by geographic region, with a view to maximizing odds of fine weather locally) would provide the residents of participating communities with a range of benefits, including:
  • Opportunities for women (and men, where applicable) to be recognized for their beauty and good taste at least once a year by friends and families (not to mention fellow workers and grocery-store attendants) as they moved resplendent from the morning to the night in the gowns, gloves, tiaras, veils and even shoes they had chosen with such care for days on which they were married;
  • Enhanced justification for the investment of millions of dollars in elaborate dresses and accoutrements that are traditionally worn for one day only, after which they are consigned to the darkest reaches of the nation’s basement closets or the remotest corners of its attics;
  • Motivational artillery for the newly married to keep their sylph-like figures so that they are able to fit themselves anew into their matrimonial finery every year.
Those with two or more wedding gowns would wear whichever dress they preferred unless, of course, the most recent marriage had taken root, in which case they would be well advised to choose politics over sartorial preference.

1 comment:

gaepol said...

Not surprisingly - given our deep spiritual connection (of the wholly non-religious kind) - I have often thought of throwing a party and inviting all the women in their wedding gowns.

Then I realized I was afraid, I'd open up the box and the dress would be so old (and, by the dress, therefore I), that it would have disintegrated into a pile of dust.

And then I would have to off myself.

Multiple marriages and dresses are one cure for this phobia.